


Normal

by tchnoismz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Konoha - Freeform, all lowercase, me thinking about konoha, minor bokuaka ??? if you squint super hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25503253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tchnoismz/pseuds/tchnoismz
Summary: he, konoha akinori, didn't have a problem with being normal. not until he discovered that bokuto koutarou’s definition of normal was completely different.one hundred and ten percent, giving more than you can, more than you can handle. but the glass ceiling gets higher, and you fall. one hundred and ten percent is not enough.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> mmmm i love konoha . heres an analysis

second place, third place, fourth, fifth . . it didn’t matter. for konoha akinori, there was no such thing as coming in first place. but he had gotten used to that fact. it didn’t make him cry like a kid that lost all the games they played at their birthday party. he didn’t think about it. he just accepted it. he wouldn’t be the top of his class, nor the captain of his volleyball team, nor someone’s best friend.  
number seven. his jersey number in both middle school and high school—a refusal to change. In middle school, it was a soccer jersey. konoha had never gotten too great at soccer, but he was good enough. his footwork was good. his defense was good. his offense was good, and he was able to play any position with little issue. it was the same in high school, everything was average. but of course, high school is different from middle school.   
konoha’s mother used to tell him that there would always be someone better than him, but he didn’t expect it to sting this much.  
‘normal’. konoha had always had the dictionary definition of normal down; he didn't think there was another such definition. he knew that normal meant average. normal meant blending in and being boring. being nothing particularly interesting. he didn't have a problem with being normal. not until he discovered that bokuto koutarou’s definition of normal was completely different. after spending three years practicing daily with the ace, witnessing his bouts of passion and his tragic self-doubts, you'd think konoha would get used to the feeling of being in the background like he usually did. not this time.  
he wanted it all. konoha akinori looked at the glass ceiling that hung so far above his head, and he told himself he’d shatter it. he’d go beyond the expectations. one-hundred and ten percent. one-hundred and ten isn't enough. bokuto’s ceiling was much higher than konoha's, it always was. everyone had high expectations for the captain and ace of the powerhouse school, and everytime the expectations rose, bokuto somehow rose higher. bokuto gave it one-hundred and fifty percent, maybe two-hundred. he gave all of himself to the thing he loves. what did konoha love? he’s still not sure.  
of course, you can't forget the golden boy that graced the fukurodani team in his first year. konoha watched history be made about four times a week, everytime bokuto went bounding iff to akaashi. konoha didn't want to believe that akaashi was more special than he was, he didn't want to believe that akaashi could be everything he wasn't. akaashi was cool, analytical, helpful. when konoha wasn't enough to be starting setter or vice-captain, akaashi would be that much better than him. where konoha gave one-hundred and ten percent, akaashi gave one-hundred and twenty. konoha stands by his mother’s words; no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone better than you. you can't let it destroy you. 

so he didn't. konoha tried new things, he played new games and circled through different classes. and when his third year ended, he went for pharmacy. a mediocre job where he could stay behind the scenes and help people—be a supporter. no matter how much presence he had, he would never be completely acknowledged. some things never change, huh?  
bokuto doesn't. or maybe he does. konoha cant quite tell. bokuto’s presence is the same; loud, jarring, over-the-top. bokuto is still the same ordinary ace he had always been. but there was something different. bokuto didn't have akaashi on the court with him. he didn't have konoha, washio, sarukui, komi, suzumeda, and shirofuku to lift him up when he fell down. now, bokuto had himself. he identified his mistakes and he assured himself it would be okay. konoha wanted to feel disappointed that bokuto didn't need him anymore—but maybe he never did.

it took years for konoha to learn what normal really means. normal isn't always ‘average’ or ‘blending in’. normal is the glass ceiling. you decide when it rises and you decide how to break it. it took konoha seeing his friends grow around him while he stayed stuck to realize that the only reason he couldn't be one-hundred twenty percent is because he told himself that his normal was one-hundred and ten. the only thing keeping him from becoming as free as bokuto, was the fear of being anything more than what people told him he could be. average.


End file.
